Since really, I use this as a diary... and a place to look back at for notes about my life, I'll have to mention that I dropped out of university so that I can go and obtain a goal and a life I want in a completely different stream.
I'm going to live for me.
This is maturity.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Roleplay.
It's very, very easy to start to fall for someone that you roleplay with... because you share these intense emotions with each other and suddenly, this friend of yours from 1,500 miles away who you skype with everyday turns into the one person you can't stand living your day without... and you crave getting into character because you can show your feelings and love them and it's completely accepted...
and then one day as a joke you bring up the distant possibility that you could be together.. in a world where you both aren't dating anyone and you are one-hundred percent sure that your RP partner is into women... and then she tells you that she is in fact, attracted to women... and that the 'distant possibility' is more possible than you know... because she wants it too.
And when our followers ask if we're dating, she answers ambiguously, leaving it up to them, rather than outright stating that she has a boyfriend and that you're in a relationship as well.
She tells you she loves you when she logs off, and does so reluctantly, because your absence is just as numbing in her daily life as it is for yours. You say 'I love you too'. You 'jokingly' call each other your girlfriend.
She sneaks her phone at work so she can message you... but so do you. You talk about boring things, gross things, nerdy things, lovely things... sexy things. Things that you shouldn't be talking about it.
She's someone you see in your dreams now... You find yourself counting the miles and evaluating just how long it would take to go visit her... but even if you could... this isn't that alternate universe where you're both unattached and ready to go at each other like prey. Except that you are ready, and you probably shouldn't be.
It is very easy to turn fictional feelings into real feelings.
It is very easy to fall for your roleplay partner.
and then one day as a joke you bring up the distant possibility that you could be together.. in a world where you both aren't dating anyone and you are one-hundred percent sure that your RP partner is into women... and then she tells you that she is in fact, attracted to women... and that the 'distant possibility' is more possible than you know... because she wants it too.
And when our followers ask if we're dating, she answers ambiguously, leaving it up to them, rather than outright stating that she has a boyfriend and that you're in a relationship as well.
She tells you she loves you when she logs off, and does so reluctantly, because your absence is just as numbing in her daily life as it is for yours. You say 'I love you too'. You 'jokingly' call each other your girlfriend.
She sneaks her phone at work so she can message you... but so do you. You talk about boring things, gross things, nerdy things, lovely things... sexy things. Things that you shouldn't be talking about it.
She's someone you see in your dreams now... You find yourself counting the miles and evaluating just how long it would take to go visit her... but even if you could... this isn't that alternate universe where you're both unattached and ready to go at each other like prey. Except that you are ready, and you probably shouldn't be.
It is very easy to turn fictional feelings into real feelings.
It is very easy to fall for your roleplay partner.
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